DeJa Vu?

Today I had a meeting. I had to put on professional clothes and do something grown up. That is not what this post is about. It is about my high heeled boots. Yes. Boots. You see, I put on my black high heeled boots today to go to this grown up meeting and as soon as I put them on I realized I haven't worn them since I met Scott. Curious.... These were my designated "date boots" and I wore them on almost every date I went on before I met him. I did NOT wear them on my first date with him however (and I remember this to be accurate!). So today with my "date boots" on I felt a little mischievous. This must sound ridiculous but I did. It took me back to the beginning of the year when I decided I was going to become a "dater". I met lots of different men in these boots and they have been around the block! (Hey, better the boots than me, ya?) So as I'm walking in my date boots I couldn't help but to reflect on that bizarre time in my life. It was a fun and educational time, but certainly with a few bizarre moments. I wonder what happened to some of those men I dated and if they met women more suitable for them. I wonder what happened to the ones who were just starting their divorce proceedings. I wonder what happened to the ones that emailed or texted me long after I stopped answering. Interesting. More importantly, I wondered where I would be right now if I hadn't met Scott. Still dating? With someone else? Happy? Sad? Angry? Frustrated? Doesn't matter I suppose because the fact is that I DID meet him and I hope I never have to meet anyone ever again!! He is cute and smart and funny and amazing and he still smells like he just stepped out of the laundry (just ask Avery). He has made me so happy in these past 6 months and I am truly in love with him. But just to be a little bratty, I think I'm going to wear my "date boots" the next time we go out. . .

Update....

Things with Scott are going amazing! Madison has since gotten over her initial shock and fear of mom having a boyfriend and her and Scott are buddies! Avery and him have a cute relationship and every Wednesday Scott comes for dinner and watches an old scary movie with him. It has become somewhat of a tradition and we all look forward to it! We have lots of things planned for the summer with (and without) the kids too! As far as me.... well.... I'm smitten to say the least! I think I found everything I was looking for! <3

His name is......

It's been a while since my last post! It was just date 1 with "the guy with the hunch" when I last wrote and since then there have been many more! We have spent as much time together as my schedule allows and things have been great! He has become very special to me and we have decided to date exclusively (decided that after date 1 actually) and see where it goes. I am crazy about this guy! So much so that he has met my children already!! It started with a list. A list that my kids made for him to check off. It was called "Mom's Boyfriend" and it had 2 columns. 1 column listed the things mom's boyfriend had to be and the other listed the things he couldn't be. It was a great list and had some pretty important criteria mixed with some absolutely ridiculous things! He filled it out on our last date and I returned it to the kids. He had 2 strikes against him according to the girl. 1 was that he is a Met's fan and the other is that he didn't know too much about Twilight. Not too bad in my opinion!! So the meeting..... It was an easier decision than I had thought it would be and since it was his idea it made it that much easier! I always said that the first man that meets my children will be someone significant in my life and someone who I could see myself with long term. So they met. My son took to him almost immediately. It was awesome to see them interact and at 1 point I was standing in the doorway of the tv room peering in at the 2 of them sitting side by side on the couch playing Star Wars Lego on Wii and my son had the most sincere smile on his face. I quietly whipped out my cell phone and snapped a picture. I loved that moment and I wanted to remember how my 2 favorite guys looked enjoying each other's company. My daughter was at her dance/theater class at the time so the guys had a while to hang and get to know each other before we went to pick her up. She knew he was coming. She agreed to it. Actually she insisted on meeting him before anyone else did and I respected her desire. Off we go to pick her up and the guys stay in the car. I go in and give her a quick pep talk and remind her to be respectful. They have a brief meeting at the car and she picks a place to go eat. We make our way to the State Line Diner and grab a booth. Guys on one side, girls on the other. The conversation is cute and seems to be going well. She isn't being bratty! She isn't being obnoxious! She is being funny and teasing him a little. This is a good sign!!! He treats us to dinner and we go back to my house. We all hang out in the backyard for an hour or so and play on the swing set. The kids are begging him to be their "victim" on the 2 person swing but I warn him against it!! They are calling his name and laughing and teasing. This is going better than I could have expected!! They have NEVER met anyone that I have dated in the 2 plus years since I left my husband. This is exactly how I have imagined it being and I am feeling a little choked up. My girl asks him if he'll shoot some hoops with her and he says he'd love to. They all go to the driveway and play some basket ball. I am really enjoying the interaction with them and so happy I agreed to this meeting so soon! Basketball over we all go inside and sit on the couch. We both know it is time for him to go even though neither 1 of us want this day to end just yet!! The kids are starting to be silly and plotting something..... I know this means that they will eventually wind up in trouble if I don't defuse the situation soon! He says goodbye to them and heads home. The door isn't closed for a minute when my daughter announces to me "I don't like him, lose him!". WHA WHA WHAT??? Things were going so well and I thought she was enjoying his company as much as her brother! We sit and chat. She can not give me 1 reason why she doesn't like him, she just doesn't. My boy is there too, defending him! He tells her that "he smells great! Like he just stepped out of the laundry"! I love his commentary but I send him off to play so I can talk to the girl. I go back in my head to being 11. I go back to a time and place where I was that little girl and it was my mom bringing home a boyfriend. I remember exactly how I felt at that moment and I have nothing but understanding and compassion for my confused little girl. I suggest a bath for her and we go up to run it. She bathes, I sit on the floor and we talk some more. I tell her I know how she is feeling and that even though she says she doesn't like him I think it's really the situation that she isn't pleased with. She isn't yet ready to talk rationally so I end it. He calls me when he gets home to ask how I think it went. I tell him the boy thought he was great but that the girl might need a little more time. He is sad. He thought it went really well and he is surprised to hear that she had anything negative to say at all. I explain to him the mechanics of a pre-pubescent girl who has been through so much in her short life. He understands, I think, but does say that he feels as though he has been rejected and he is really feeling sad. I don't want him to be sad but at the same time I am glad he is bothered at all! It shows me that he really does care. If he would have shrugged it off I would have had to wonder about him! He asks me if her not liking him is going to change my feelings or if things are going to be different now. I assure him that although I value her opinion, I know she is only 11 and she has no decision making power! We talk for a few minutes and then hang up. I can hear it in his voice - the worry. He has no children. He is an only child and has no nieces and nephews. This is new territory to him just as it is to me and the kids. We talked about this before the meeting took place and we all knew it was a first across the board. I know that she will eventually come around or she will just be miserable when he is around. Either way, he IS going to be around and she is going to have to find some way to adjust. I tell him that I'm letting her sleep on it and we will talk about it some more the next day. My mom is the 1 that gets them off the bus the next day and she has already been filled in! Turns out I was right. It wasn't the guy she didn't like. She told my mom that she wouldn't like anyone I brought home. When I get home we talk about him a little. She doesn't say anything bad. She is curious about him and asks me some questions. Later on we go to the mall to get her some new sneakers. Shopping is always a great time to talk since she is really in her element at the mall!! She thinks she will give him a second chance. We will invite him for dinner and he has to watch Twilight with her. If he likes it, he must be cool. I call and invite him and tell him it is entirely his decision. He agrees without the slightest hesitation. He will come and eat with me and the girl (the boy will be out with his uncle for a Lego workshop) and then we will watch Twilight. He is happy that she is open to him coming back and I imagine he is a little nervous now knowing she is testing him!! Tonight is the night. I will make dinner and we will watch the movie. I have no doubt they will find some mutual ground and eventually she will be more open to him being a part of our lives. It will take some time and it will be a learning experience for all of us but him and I agree that it is worth it. We want to be together and give this a real shot. I am a package deal and he has been aware of that since day 1. He hasn't run for the hills yet and I have a feeling that he has put his running shoes away...... And his name is Scott <3

Call it a hunch........

A couple of weeks before my trip to NC I get an email though match from someone. His subject line was "Call it a hunch" and his email went on to say how he read my profile, blah blah blah, and really thinks that we have things in common and he would like to talk. I read his profile, he's cute, seems funny, but he's a little older than I would normally date. I send him back a quick, generic email and call it a day. Next day there is another from him. Then another, and another....... I answer them all but still don't think that I will meet him. I enjoy the exchange though and find myself waiting for the next email. After a couple of days he asks for my phone number. I avoid the question and don't give it to him. He is persistent, but not annoying. I mention that I don't see him giving out his number....... He calls me a brat (which I am!) and gives me his number. He says he knows what usually happens when a girl asks for a number but doesn't give hers in return. He says he hopes I prove him wrong. I don't call him but a couple of days later I send him a text. It is my way to give him my number without actually giving it to him. Bratty? Absolutely! He calls me that night. It is the night before I am leaving for NC and I haven't even started packing. I wound up talking to him for over an hour and since I STILL had no real intention of meeting him I was my true, silly, a little crazy self on the phone. I enjoy the conversation very much. We talked about rediculous things and nothing of major importance. It is easy. We laugh. I kinda like this guy...... Anyway, I'm leaving for NC and we talk about talking when I get back. While I'm away he calls me. I was actually excited when I saw his name come up on caller id and we talk for about half an hour. He would like to meet me when I get back. I'm thinking I would like to meet him too now! I get home and we talk. And talk. And talk. We are now talking almost every night and getting to know each other in this somewhat unconventional way. I think we must have talked for over 20 hours before we had our first date! He has become a part of my evening routine and I know that when I have the house settled and I'm ready to sit and relax he will be calling me. So we plan our first date. He will pick me up and take me out and wine me and dine me. It will not be a "let's meet for a drink" but a REAL date. I like that he knows the difference and I'm starting to feel a little nervous about meeting him! We have such a great connection already but it's only over the phone. Can it really be real that I could like someone that I have never met? We know a lot about each other and there is never a moment in the conversation that I feel uncomfortable. So we have a date set. Now we have about a week before the date night and we agree (on a daily basis) that it is longest week known to man. Will it ever end??? FINALLY it is date night! He comes to pick me up and there is a cute nervousness between us both. It is so strange to finally be standing in the same room as him!!! He gives me a great big hug and a quick kiss hello. We sit on my couch and chat for a few minutes. It's almost silly that either one of us would be nervous since we have literally talked every single day leading up to this night! He tells me he has something for me and goes out to the car to retrieve it. He returns with a gift bag FILLED with little goodies (all wrapped in paper towels which I will never let him live down!) In the bag are various items that all have some silly meaning to us. I love that he has paid so much attention to the silliness of our conversations and took the time to put together this little gift of sorts! He is now really embarrassed that he gave me this bag o'fun and I reassure him it is awesome! I too have something for him, but it's not wrapped in paper towels (or anything for that matter). I whip out his very own copy of Goldmember on DVD since he mentioned he didn't yet own a copy and it is one of my faves! We talk for a few more minutes and share a couple of short, but nice, kisses on the couch. We head out to the restaurant he has chosen. Valet opens the door and we head inside. The place is great. Reminds me of another place I love and I feel instantly at home! We find a couple of seats at the bar and he orders us a round. He suggests an Appletini and I figure what the hell! We sit, drink, talk, laugh. Before drink 1 is finished, he is standing and is playing with my hair. It is nice, comfortable, very enjoyable! He realizes that this is date 1, drink 1 and sits back down. I ask him to please not stop! I am enjoying the attention and he is super adorable! He orders another round and we get a little closer. I am really enjoying this and if we never sit down at a table and eat, that is A-OKAY with me! He has been talking about how good the food is here though so we decide we should maybe grab a table and some dinner. He takes care of the bar tab and we get up. As soon as I stand I realize the effects of 2 Appletinis...... We sit across from each other at the table and now the distance is painfully obvious! He mentions it and I agree! He thinks we did it backwards, that we should have sat and ate first and then got cozy at the bar! Either way, I am happy and enjoying the company! We order dinner and talk about the people in the dining room around us. We make up stories about some of them and laugh at others. I love the ease of our conversation and how comfortable I feel with him. He is eager to share his meal with me and I am happy to accept the tastes he is serving up! He is an only child so his willingness to share impresses me! We finish dinner and he decides that across the table is just too far away. He gets up and joins me on my side of the table. The waiter here loves us because every time he comes to the table we are laughing! He presents us with dessert menus. The first item is an after dinner drink called a Cock Burn. I lose it! We order no dessert and head back to the bar for a final drink. Appletini 3 goes down waaaaaaay too easy and now I am beyond tipsy. Valet brings the car around and I sit my drunk self down. I don't want him to know the extent of my buzz so I play it cool. We listen to great music on the way home and he reaches over and takes my hand. At one point he pulls the car over to the side of the road and kisses me. He said he couldn't wait. I was glad, I didn't want to wait either!!! We make it back to my house and I invite him in. I am not worried that things will go too far. I trust him. As crazy as that sounds, I do. I feel like I know him forever and I feel safe. We sit back on the couch and he puts his arm around me. We talk and kiss and snuggle for what seems like a short time. It is almost 3 am and he needs to head home. I wish he could just stay put on my sofa but I know that this has been a very unconventional first date and eventually I have to get back to reality!! We say goodbye and I flutter up the stairs to get ready for bed. He calls me to let me know he is home safely and I fall asleep immediately after we hang up. I'm on cloud nine......

Fed Ex not delivering.....

I already had spoken to Fed Ex a few times on the phone before our actual date. It was nice, easy, somewhat boring conversation but at least I felt like I knew him before we met. We planned our Saturday evening out and I was looking forward to a nice dinner and a few drinks. The weather was gorgeous (it was one of the few random nice days way before the "heat wave" we had) so I picked a place on the water near the TZ Bridge where we could sit outside and enjoy the views. He picked me up and we headed over to the place. We ordered drinks and an appetizer and settled in for some talk. While the conversation flowed, it was dull. He talked a lot about a friend of his who had died of cancer last year and about all of the things he does to help his widow. I think it's nice that he stepped in and is taking care of his friend's wife, but after 20 minutes of hearing sad sad stories I was starting to feel a bit down. I was able to sway the conversation eventually and we start to talk about family. He is Italian and very close to his brother (they are roommates) and sister and niece and nephews. It's nice to hear him talk about them all the way he was and I'm enjoying the company a bit more now. Still, it's a little dull. He is not very good looking. He isn't gross, but just not my type. I try to keep an open mind because he is without a doubt a sweetheart. I really want to be sure I am giving him a fair chance. Before our date, however, I have been speaking to someone else on the phone. The other guy really seems more like someone I would click with and we have already racked up hours on the phone and haven't even met yet! Dinner ends and he brings me home. We are in his car and now I have to either open the door and get out or hope that a quick hug will not lead to him trying to kiss me! We talk only for a minute and he says that he thinks I am great and would love to see me again. I thank him for dinner and tell him "we'll talk soon". I decide that a hug would be appropriate and I lean over. He does try to kiss me and lands one right on my lips! I give him a little peck and pull away fast. He does not try for more. Whew! He sends me a text less than an hour later saying that he got home safely and had a great time and hopes that I will go out with him again........

Oops! Sorry! Quick update......

Yes, I know I haven't blogged in, umm, a while..... Here's a quick post just to get up to speed. I did meet the guy I mentioned in the last blog. We met on a Wednesday night at the mall. He arrived late (called and let me know at least) and I was very happy when I saw him that he was actually better looking in person than in his pictures! He was the definition of tall, dark and handsome!! Gave me a nice hug hello and then picked the place to eat without asking my opinion! Sushi it was! We sit at the sushi bar where the food comes around on a rotating conveyor belt..... in the mall..... I'm a little iffy about it! He says we can order off the menu and if there is something coming around that I want to try, grab it! So we start to talk, blah blah blah, I feel like I am being interviewed! He was very confident and had no problem asking me pretty much about anything and everything! We order a few things off the menu and then he picks a few things off the conveyor. I ask what he has and he tells me it's a Mexican roll. I want to try it and I tell him this. He actually MOVES his plate over so I can't reach it and tells me to grab a pink plate off the conveyor as it goes by..... NO WAY!! He is not going to share!!! I am not happy about this at all as I am the type of person who loves to pick off of someone's plate and always happy to offer to share mine! So we eat a little, talk a lot, head out. He is separated, not divorced. He has 3 young children. He is the youngest of 13 (maybe that's why he can't share?) He walks me to my car and gives me a hug and a nice kiss goodnight. He asks if I'd like to see him again and I say sure. I leave, he leaves. He sends me an email next day saying he had a good time and to call him when I get back from vaca so he can take me out again. I am home. I have not called.......

I have date 4 already scheduled with Golf and we meet at a place close to my house. It is the first night of Passover and my kids are celebrating with their dad and family. We sit down and almost immediately he starts to bitch about how his son and ex wife are at her new "jew boyfriend's" house eating "jew food". I don't even try to hide my annoyance at his comments this time around. I call him out on it. He is very defensive and doesn't try to cover up the fact that he is really pissed that his 5 year old son is at Passover dinner. I try to play devil's advocate and tell him it's just dinner for God sake!! I mention, yet again, that my children are the product of a Jewish father and are at their own celebration as we speak. He says that's fine because they have a Jewish parent and it's not fine for his son because he does not. He goes on and on about how he is the only one that is supposed to teach his son about religion and not some Jew boyfriend of his ex wife. I decide he is a jerk and try to move on from the conversation in a last ditch effort to enjoy dinner. He moves on to politics. He is now carrying on about how he could have ended the pirate hostage thing in 1 day and our president doesn't know what he's doing, etc...... I am dumbfounded. He knows I disagree with him on his political views, and religious views, and he asks me if this is the last time he will see me. I tell him that we shouldn't discuss religion or politics and just have a nice dinner. He continues now to ask me over and over if I was going to see him again! Dinner is on the table and I'm hungry. I really want to eat it. I do not want to get up and leave before I can but I am feeling the urge to excuse myself and never come back! I tell him that our differences might be a deal breaker. He says he knew it. I eat fast!!! He pays the bill and we go out to the parking lot. He says he knows this is the last time he is going to see me but if I want to go to a Yankee game with him when I get back he will gladly take me (nice way to try to bribe me!!) We say our goodbyes and I am happy to be on my way! During the week I was away he sends me a few text messages. I ignore them all. When I got back I sent him an email saying that it was very nice to have met him but that I think our differences of opinion are great enough and that we are probably not a good match. Good luck, take care! 2 days later he sends me almost the same email! He is playing it off like he did not read mine and this is all his idea. Normally I wouldn't care and just be relieved it is done! BUT for some reason this pissed me off! No way dude! it was ME saying this to YOU! I send him back an email saying that it was funny how much his sounded like the one I sent and perhaps he didn't get it? He answers that he was in AC for the weekend and didn't get it (yeah, okay) and that at least we agree on 1 thing....... HAHAHAHA!!! I let him have the last word.....

2 more dates to go..... will post more later!

Monday, Monday.... not too good for me.....

I was highly anticipating my evening with Golf after my Saturday night fiasco with Angry. I give him the name of the place I have come to enjoy in my dating frenzy (might as well keep 1 aspect of this whole ride simple!) He meets me at Jose O'Reilley's and as soon as he greets me at my car he has me in his arms and plants a very passionate kiss on me. I was not expecting this at all so I pulled away a little sooner than he probably would have liked. Where is my shy guy? I'm happy that I was welcomed with such a nice kiss but it just caught me off guard. We go inside and I am careful not to sit at the same table that I sat with for my dates with Mr. Smarty Pants or Angry. I cozy in to a corner table and he sits along side me. I like the set up here which is probably why I have become a frequent flier. There are tables along the walls and in the corners with cushioned window seats. There are bar stools that can be pulled up along side making it easy to get close without having to actually sit side by side. I motion for Golf to sit where I think he should and he pulls up a stool. We order some beer on tap and ask for dinner menus. After we secure our dinner orders we get to talking. At first it is small talk, about our kids, our day at work, random conversation. Somewhere along the way he veers off course and again, without any warning, the conversation turns to sex. He is telling me about how he likes his partner to dress....in the bedroom. He asks me if I wear "bloomers" BLOOMERS??? I nearly choked when he said that. I told him the last person I hear to use that word was my grandmother. He asks me if I think he is being offensive, and truthfully he is not, but I just wasn't ready to go there with him. He is shattering my image of a slow, shy, gentleman and now he is exposing his inner penis. I guess when you carry a concealed weapon, eventually it is going to make itself known. I change the subject. We talk some more about golf and kids and work. He blurts out how sexy he thinks I am. Really? With the fajita sauce dripping down the side of my mouth? Ugh. I'm not complaining. It's nice to hear that you are found sexy. Just at this particular place and time I am more interested in the sour cream and beans and getting them rolled up nicely with the chicken to make a perfect fajita. I ask him how he likes his meal. It's good. We start to talk about a radio show that aired that morning asking the question "how long should you date someone before sleeping with them". He wants to know, hypothetically, how long would I wait. I tell him that I think it is a case by case scenario and that if and when the opportunity presented itself, I would decide at that point if I was ready to take that next step with someone. He "agrees" but wants to know how I feel about him, again, hypothetically. i tell him that I am not thinking about sleeping with him at this point. He laughs it off and tells me that he wasn't thinking about it either or he would have cleaned his house and when will I go out with him again? Just like that. I suggest after I return from my trip to NC but he thinks that is waaaaaaaay too long and wants to see me before I leave. We make plans for Saturday night. (I remember after I get home that I am leaving Saturday morning and therefore can not have plans with anyone on Saturday night unless their name is Donna and they are picking me up from the airport). He also has some "comments" about his ex wife and her "jew" boyfriend. I make sure he realizes that my dad was Jewish and so is my ex husband. I do not think he meant it in a derogatory way but it is seeming to me that he might be a little ignorant. He is angry that his ex wife wants to take their son to her boyfriend's parent's house for Passover. He told her no way that he "did not want his son wearing a beanie hat and eating Jewish food". I ask him why and he has no good answer. I tell him I think he is being silly and that I think he should pick his battles with his ex. This is dinner, not a conversion attempt. Then he rambles on something about when his son makes his communion he is the one that is going to be sitting with him in the church, not her boyfriend. I ask him why he is worrying about things that are so far in the future. Again, he has no good reason. I ask him the same question I asked on our first date - "do you see things getting better between you and your ex wife?" He says never. Hmpf. I have to ask myself if I want to be involved with someone who is going to fight with his ex over every little thing. I choose not to live that way and I really don't know if I want to be involved with someone who chooses differently. Too many things on this date that made me skeptical. Dates 1 and 2 were awesome. Date 3, not as much. I will still go out with him again and this time I will be prepared to stop him if I do not like where the conversation is going. We head out to the parking lot and he again takes in his arms and kisses me like he means it. He is a little more "touchy" (but not in a groping kind of way) as he runs his hands up and down my back and explores the curves of my hips. He tells me again that he finds me incredibly sexy. I tell him goodnight and kiss him softly on his cheek. He shuts my car door after I get in and I pull out of the parking lot and make my way home.

For now I will stick to the routine of meeting new men. I made plans for Wednesday evening to meet a new guy (name to be determined upon meeting). I am quite interested to see what this guy is all about. He has captured my attention and my curiosity through our conversations and I am looking forward to the date. What to wear, what to wear? ;)